Why Brands Often Confuse Conversations with Communications
Harvard famously discovered that talking about yourself stimulates the same parts of the brain as sex, heroin, and cocaine.
When I first read this, I laughed — and then panicked a little. As someone in branding, I actively help clients talk about themselves. And more to the point, isn’t this blog entirely self-gratifying? Are blogs, podcasts, and social posts just examples of brands hogging the mic?
Most brands have conversations with… themselves. Marketing often focuses on communication as part of a brand strategy, but it’s typically an interior dialogue: values, products, services, and everything they think their customers want to hear. Self-gratifying much?
Do Brands Need Better Conversation Skills?
Talking separates humans from other animals. Our evolution was powered by communication — first a mouthful of grunts, eventually full sentences. Speech even changed the shape of our bodies (and created a risk: the ability to be choked to death). That’s commitment.
“Tech helps us avoid looking awkward and unprepared. Social media allows us to edit ourselves, delete mistakes, and perfect our performance.”Yet technology hasn’t brought us closer. Since the smartphone boom, apps have promised connection but deliver little actual conversation. Comments, likes, and replies aren’t true dialogue. Conversations are messy, demanding, and exhausting — brands are especially bad at them.
Conversation is a Skill
Our youth send 100+ texts a day and spend hours in apps. Conversation is a skill that has to be learned: thinking, reasoning, staying present, and actually listening. Too often, conversations devolve into one-upmanship.
“Even the stupidest person in the world knows something you don’t.”Listening is how we learn. Brands, however, often treat customers as data points — segmented audiences, tags, and metrics — instead of real humans. They know us through clicks, keywords, purchase history, and social interactions, not genuine conversation.
Brands Need to Check In
It’s far easier for brands to rely on cold data. But if you asked someone in person, “How are you feeling today?” the answer would be richer, personal, and revealing. That’s why conversation matters.
“If your brand honestly doesn’t have a story that fully justifies what you do, why you do it, your whole purpose for being, then you arguably shouldn’t exist.”
Find Your Driveway Moment
Brands must stimulate conversation by becoming relatable, human, and engaging. A good brand story is essential — beginning, middle, and end. Think of the “driveway moment”: a story so compelling, you stay in your car just to hear the ending.
Customers don’t just want products or services; they want connection, engagement, and investment in your story.
What Brands Can Learn from Listening
By having real conversations, brands can gain insight comparable to a chef dining among their guests. Listening is hard, but invaluable. Pick up the phone, ask sincerely, and embrace awkwardness.
“Engage with people who disagree. Listen. Learn. Grow.”Brands that master conversation, not just communication, build loyalty, empathy, and trust — the foundation of any meaningful relationship.